“In the months that follow you bend to the work,
because it feels like hope, like grace–and because you know
in your lying cheater's heart that sometimes a start is all we ever get.”
― JUNOT DÍAZ, This Is How You Lose Her
INNER CITY STORIES
Hello everyone, my name is LIE
I live the average life
I hide
I strive in people’s lives
But I can’t survive
Eventually I become some kind of escape
That people depend on to look and feel great
That kills me because I was only meant to be some little game
To evade an unpleasant situation
An uncomfortable emotion
Until they realize life can’t be placed on slow motion
My name is LIE
I’m the fastest in the race
The race to the end
Where people can no longer pretend
When they think they’ve forgotten me
I make amends
Teaching them that I am no friend
You can’t get away from me
Even if you try
I’ll drag you right back in
With me you just can’t win
My name is LIE
I started off so innocent,
So small, so trivial
That’s what happened
I never intended to be so mistaken
But it’s too late now
No one will listen
Because of me, you won’t be forgiven
There’s no explaining
So stop the complaining
About what I did wrong
You accepted me
You used me
You abused me
What?
And now you want to lose me?
It’s too late now
You spoke me
You breathed me
You lived me
It’s too late now to get rid of me
But what you can get rid of now
Are those tears
Lose them
Because they cost years of my precious time
Time wasted
Time invested in you
You told the lie
It was you who didn’t want to acknowledge the truth
If you could have borne it
I would have set you free
But you held on to me
Because you couldn’t handle seeing what was left of you without me
What?
Now you need some victory?
To think you’ve outreached me?
To think you’ve conquered me?
Sorry, but that’s where your mistaken
Until you forgive yourself
I’ll continue to be your misfortune
You don’t want me in your life anymore?
Fine, but I want you to pull the plug
Tell me when you’re ready to stop feeling so smug
My name is LIE
Do you think I want to be used by you
To cover up the truth
That you don’t want people to use against you?
No, I hate this
And I hate me
Because every time people use me
They hate themselves
I hate myself, you hate me
Once you are done with me
You’ll quickly see
That no matter what you do
You will hate you
For using me, like a fool
But don’t you worry
It’s all cool
This is what I live for
This is what I do over and over
When you’re finally done with me
I’ll just keep moving forward
Because if it’s not you
There’s always a number two
Someone else who will let me in their life
To use me any way they think is right
But they’ll soon learn a lesson
The same lesson you’re getting from me now
So listen:
If you don’t want long term commitment with me
Just stay away from me
Because once I’m in it
I’ll always be with it
And you’ll be wishing
You never spoke those words that can’t be forgiven
So keep on walking
Keep on moving
For I’ll always be three short steps behind you
Waiting for the moment you lose it
My name is LIE
My best wishes to you
I hope you really try this time
To finally make things right
For unfortunately, if you don’t change your tune
I’ll be seeing you again, real soon
