This feels like it’s not real.

Like I can wake up and I won’t feel so terrible.

How can a feeling so comforting be so harmful?

This feeling so familiar, yet so foreign

I look so deeply into these dark pools and I think.

What brought me here?

I have nobody to tell.

I don’t want to lose her or hurt her.

So what can I do besides hide from these harsh truths

Maybe happiness can substitute for this loss

But then again when that happiness turns into regret I will have nobody

I couldn’t live with her hating me

But right now I’m so confused

I hate myself for even considering these violent delights

Though, I can’t help but not care, due to my knowledge that

I will have to deal with such violent ends.