The relationship between parents and children, but especially
between mothers and daughters, s tremendously powerful,
scarcely to be comprehended in any rational way.
–JOYCE CAROL OATES
INNER CITY STORIES
Most teens, adults and just humans in general usually say that their number one supporters are their legal guardians or their parents, but I’m different. I do have a mother who supports me I’m not saying that she doesn’t, but my number one supporter would have to be myself.
My mother DOES support me and congratulates me sometimes, but she doesn’t do it often. My mother is not one of those moms who constantly asks to see my grades or asks me if I have any homework, or comes to teacher conferences; she never really has been involved. Now I know not to even ask because I know she won’t make it or I know she won’t show. My mother is the type of mom that I don’t like going for advice to, because I’m just not comfortable opening up to her. She’s missed lots of concerts and out of twelve football games for band, came to zero.
From huge biomedical tests to midterms, to final exams, to quizzes, to the first day of school I’m the one to wish myself luck. I teach myself how to study, I teach myself how to dress, what the slope of a line is, how to use a calculator, and how to put on my makeup. I do it all by myself without asking my mom for anything, and I think I’m doing a pretty okay job. I know to tell myself that, “Amya, you’re going to pass this test, and you’re going to do great,” even when I’m about to fail the biggest test of my life in the ninth grade. I constantly motivate myself, and support myself, and that’s okay.
I know my mother loves me, I know she’ll try to help me anyway possible and try to give me the things I desire, and in order to do that, my mother has to work her you know what off. She never comes to school events or plays or whatever the case may be because my mother is always tired -- from long days of work to coming home to cook, clean, and then driving all of her other children around all over town, including me.
Part of why I think she doesn’t really ask about school or do things like that is because as a child growing up she never really seemed to have that support either, the kind of support that I want pretty bad, so she doesn’t really know how to show it to her own kids, which is sad and sort of sucks. The other part to why I think my mother doesn’t ASK me questions about school is because she trusts me that I’ll do my homework and that I’m getting great grades, which may not always be true, but I do try.
I understand that to others my mom might sound absolutely terrible, but I love my mom and I sure do know she loves me back. After all the missing out, I find myself not angry with this woman. Isn’t that just rich? Most kids would probably be depressed by something like this or upset, or angry, but why is it that I’m not? I know at first it’s upsetting, but I do get over it because I just know that while my mom isn’t there at a concert, or at a football game, or has missed another teacher conference, she’s at work making money, to benefit me, or at home, making me dinner. So for that, I am VERY grateful.
I love you mom.